We’re home! There are still boxes to be unpacked and the occasional home maintenance project to conquer, but we’re moved. I hope to resume posting now as time allows, and I’m jumping in with both feet today. I know you’re probably anxious for pictures, but for now you’ll have to bear with me as I pour out some thoughts on a rather deep topic this morning. :-) Ah, it’s good to be back.
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I was so discouraged yesterday by my eldest's disobedience. She was blatantly rebellious throughout the day and I’m sorry to admit that I lost my temper on several occasions. Badly.
The guilt floods in then: “what a poor role model I am!” “How can I expect her to act a certain way, when I’m not acting that way?”
With the guilt comes feelings of failure and fear. “Am I not training her correctly?”
God in His holiness knows not failure or fear, and yet how often do I act the same way as my child? However, He extends His grace to me, knowing that I battle not against flesh and blood, but against sin. And He has compassion towards me. Again and again.
I would do well to remember this during my daughter’s bouts of disobedience. Even Paul, a grown adult, grieved that he knew what was right yet did not do it (Romans 7:19 ). All mankind wrestles similarly, yet the Lord remains patience and loving towards His children.
I need to respond in kind, not in anger, but in compassion, as I strive to teach and equip my children to overcome the sin in their own lives.
Which brings me to my anger. My righteous anger, I like to think. In truth, it’s yet another example of my sin, as I am searching for my own glorification through the model behavior of my child. If I wasn’t wresting with wounded pride when I correct her, I would have no fuel for my anger. Only compassion for my sister in Christ who is struggling as I am.
And that is what I want: compassion. I’m so glad today is a new day.
I seriously struggle with these things. I've discovered that my own strong-willed control nature is often battling with my strong-willed daughter. I've recently started reading "She's Gonna Blow" by Julie Barnhill and found it helpful.
ReplyDeleteAs for strong-willed sinful children....Exhausting isn't it?
Thanks Faith for posting this TODAY. My 4 year old Nate has been driving me nuts. It's like I'm speaking a foreign language and he's not understanding me. With Dave being gone a month, the move across country..I forget his little world has been turned upside down! Some days lately, I just can't take anymore and lock myself in the bathroom to cry and to cry out to God...mostly in confession that I've lost my patience, my temper and sometimes it feels like my mind. I'll be praying for you, sister!
ReplyDeleteI think you have nailied it. If we can separate ourselves from their behavior, meaning, don't take it so personal and be mindful why we are trying to get them to obey...it's not for our glory!!! As a mother of 19 yr olds, I still struggle with this BUT...God is merciful and forgiving and he has the power to help us!
ReplyDelete