We’re home! There are still boxes to be unpacked and the occasional home maintenance project to conquer, but we’re moved. I hope to resume posting now as time allows, and I’m jumping in with both feet today. I know you’re probably anxious for pictures, but for now you’ll have to bear with me as I pour out some thoughts on a rather deep topic this morning. :-) Ah, it’s good to be back.
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I was so discouraged yesterday by my eldest's disobedience. She was blatantly rebellious throughout the day and I’m sorry to admit that I lost my temper on several occasions. Badly.
The guilt floods in then: “what a poor role model I am!” “How can I expect her to act a certain way, when I’m not acting that way?”
With the guilt comes feelings of failure and fear. “Am I not training her correctly?”
God in His holiness knows not failure or fear, and yet how often do I act the same way as my child? However, He extends His grace to me, knowing that I battle not against flesh and blood, but against sin. And He has compassion towards me. Again and again.
I would do well to remember this during my daughter’s bouts of disobedience. Even Paul, a grown adult, grieved that he knew what was right yet did not do it (Romans 7:19 ). All mankind wrestles similarly, yet the Lord remains patience and loving towards His children.
I need to respond in kind, not in anger, but in compassion, as I strive to teach and equip my children to overcome the sin in their own lives.
Which brings me to my anger. My righteous anger, I like to think. In truth, it’s yet another example of my sin, as I am searching for my own glorification through the model behavior of my child. If I wasn’t wresting with wounded pride when I correct her, I would have no fuel for my anger. Only compassion for my sister in Christ who is struggling as I am.
And that is what I want: compassion. I’m so glad today is a new day.
