A Lesson in Parenting

We’re home! There are still boxes to be unpacked and the occasional home maintenance project to conquer, but we’re moved. I hope to resume posting now as time allows, and I’m jumping in with both feet today. I know you’re probably anxious for pictures, but for now you’ll have to bear with me as I pour out some thoughts on a rather deep topic this morning. :-) Ah, it’s good to be back.

~

I was so discouraged yesterday by my eldest's disobedience. She was blatantly rebellious throughout the day and I’m sorry to admit that I lost my temper on several occasions.  Badly.

The guilt floods in then: “what a poor role model I am!” “How can I expect her to act a certain way, when I’m not acting that way?” 

With the guilt comes feelings of failure and fear. “Am I not training her correctly?”

God in His holiness knows not failure or fear, and yet how often do I act the same way as my child? However, He extends His grace to me, knowing that I battle not against flesh and blood, but against sin. And He has compassion towards me. Again and again.

I would do well to remember this during my daughter’s bouts of disobedience. Even Paul, a grown adult, grieved that he knew what was right yet did not do it (Romans 7:19 ). All mankind wrestles similarly, yet the Lord remains patience and loving towards His children.

I need to respond in kind, not in anger, but in compassion, as I strive to teach and equip my children to overcome the sin in their own lives.

Which brings me to my anger. My righteous anger, I like to think. In truth, it’s yet another example of my sin, as I am searching for my own glorification through the model behavior of my child. If I wasn’t wresting with wounded pride when I correct her, I would have no fuel for my anger. Only compassion for my sister in Christ who is struggling as I am.

And that is what I want: compassion. I’m so glad today is a new day.

Of Poppins and Priorities

Since the beginning of the year, Morenna’s video of choice has been Mary Poppins.  Such an honor bestowed upon a movie means that it is watched dozens hundreds of times.

It was fun at first, bringing to mind memories of my own childhood pleasures surrounding the popular songs and lighthearted magic.

But I grew bored with the fact I could recite the script by memory. I had dishes to do, a floor to clean... and no one around was going to snap their fingers to complete it for me.

Somewhere around the 27th viewing *yawn*, I woke up and began to catch on to some iconic dimensions of the movie I had missed the 26 times before.

I’m slow, I know.

I sat there, suddenly aware of how greatly I was behaving like those in the movie.

Mrs. Banks was a valiant knight in the world of women’s rights; namely, their right to vote. To have a say. Fighting to have an impact in the world around her.

Yet she overlooked the greatest impact of all: motherhood. And it was slipping away from her.

Mr. Banks was a noteworthy, important man. His job defined him; he was a great investor.

Yet he didn’t invest in the right things. His “life ambitions go, with one fowl blow” and he realizes those ambitions were build on the sands of disillusionment.

What a perfect movie for a discontented, stressed out momma to watch.

It’s not about the daily chores; it’s about the time invested in the lives of my children. Motherhood is what I prayed for during those years through high school and college. The blessing was given to me... now what am I choosing to do with it?

One of the only blogs I take time to read is (In)Courage. Earlier this month a writer posted an article entitled, “In the Season of Rain, Pray for Rain.” It touched a disillusioned part of my heart and has drastically altered how I proceed in my day.

In the words of Zechariah, “Ask for rain from the Lord in the season of the spring rain, from the Lord who makes the storm clouds, and he will give them showers of rain . . . .” (Zechariah 10:1)

Here’s the message, mommas. We’re the caretakers of little souls right now. It’s our season. And like all seasons, we know it only lasts for a short time before passing on. Remind yourself of this the next time a small being attaches themselves to your leg while dinner is burning, the dryer is buzzing and you can’t find a matching pair of shoes because someone smaller than you was reeking havoc in your closet this morning.

You’re in this season, so pray for this season. Pray for grace and peace and joy. And most of all, pray for wisdom to make a worthwhile, solid, investment. Won’t you join me?

And it can’t hurt to pray that someone like Mary Poppins arrives to snap her fingers and clean your house. :-)

True Intimacy

I've never been one to celebrate Valentine's Day. Perhaps this is a result of my childhood. My parents were never big on any market-driven holiday, but we ate our heart-shaped pancakes, told family members we loved them (like we did every day) and moved on.

During my college years the journey of singleness made me much more aware of Valentine's Day. Friends went out with their significant others and I sat alone in my dorm room wearing black in protest. A true model of maturity right there. ::Cough::

Although there was that one year when a friend and I graced our male counterpart's cubicle with bright red streamers and heart confetti - just cuz it bred annoyance. Who knew I was really pranking my future husband. Hehe.

But now I'm married and we still don't really celebrate the big love fest. But in light of yesterday's holiday, I found this post a true encouragement... and a great reminder. Here's an exerp:

Unaware of themselves in the garden, Adam and Eve walked with God,
and they were naked. They were completely exposed, and they were not
work-driven, and they did not have babies hanging on their legs, sitting on
their hips, poking their eyes, squeezing their noses, or drooling down their
backs.

Oh how we want the garden back sometimes after we have babies! Oh how sweet the garden seems when we're looking back from our over-worked positions - whatever they may be! Don't we crave such time and depth with Christ that we become one with Him, know His thoughts, and love how He loves? Don't we survive by keeping intimacy with Him, in prayer?

What is missing for me is the humility and discernment to say NO when needed, so I can say YES when needed, and I keep asking myself if I were to arrange my life so that intimacy with the Lover my soul were my priority, then wouldn't intimacy with my husband become a great byproduct of that - an overflow?

~ Taken from "An Intimacy Experiment" over at (In)Courage.

Being Mommy

Have you wondered where I've been? I've missed posting the happenings around here... but time at my computer has been largely limited lately.

My friend Kelly opened a blogging door for me today, hence my reason for breaking the silence. While it isn't a lack of items to blog about that's been prohibiting my writing, it has been a lack of creativity - a difficulty in eloquent wording - that's also to blame. Her timing in tagging me for this "mommy" post couldn't be better... I needed it.

What I Love About Being Mommy:

1. Fresh views - I love watching Morenna develop in a new way each and every day. She reminds me of a flower, a slow opening bud, that discovers something new about the world each day and is absolutely elated about what she learns. I feel like a kid again myself... and she's only a year old! There is just so much to discover!

2. Innocence, trust, desire. I love witnessing true innocence in Morenna. She fears little and trusts her daddy and I wholeheartedly. What a great example of how we should feel as children of God! It warms my heart to observe her following me so absolutely; scary - yes, but beautiful at the same time. There is also nothing like the feeling that comes when you find how desirable you are to your little one. When Morenna reaches for me, snuggles with me, clings to me... it's me she wants. No one else treats me quite that way. I tear up when I think about that.

3. Family. It amazes me at times the new depth that motherhood has brought to my marriage. Not only am I mom, but the love-of-my-life is dad! Weird! Together we have been blessed with one huge responsibility... and we have to be a team. I also see my husband in a whole new light as the leader of not just our marriage, but our family. My respect for him has definitely grown. He is now more selfless than ever, more gentle than ever, more humble than ever.

4. Similarity. How fascinating to witness various aspects of your character or personality in your little one. I love watching Morenna to see traits of her dad or I pop through. It can be a bit scary at times, but I love it. She is so much like us... but yet so distinctly different, too.

5. Dependability. Perhaps the most sobering aspect of motherhood to me is how much my children depend on me. I love this and fear it at the same time. It matters not if you have days of not wanting to be "mommy". You are mommy... day in and day out. Human lives grow and (by God's grace to us mothers!) thrive because of us. I'm seeing this all too clearly right now as I care for my two children. Yes. Two. Surprised? As I eluted to above, I haven't been in front of my computer much these days... mostly because I've spent it before the porcelain goddess most of us mothers are familiar with. As I've struggled lately with how to care for Morenna, care for my household, and manage sickness at the same time (scraping by with the first, failing at the second, succeeding at the third :-)) I'm very much aware of why I love the dependability in motherhood so much: it draws me to the Lord.

Nowhere in my life do I feel more inadequate that I do in motherhood. As consequence, nowhere in my life do I turn to God more as I do in motherhood. And that's a good thing.

So thanks, Kelly, for allowing me the opportunity to share the good news of our blossoming family. You unknowingly helped me with the words (and helped me find the joy in the current season I'm in). :-)

Our new little one, who we're temporarily naming "Roo", will hopefully arrive the end of November, beginning of December. A new adventure awaits! I'd particularly appreciate your prayers as I attempt to make it through this first-trimester morning sickness. It wasn't so pleasant with Morenna... and it appears no different this time around. But God has lessons for me in it all, I just need to listen.

...Because the Days are Evil

"Look carefully then how you walk,

not as unwise but as wise,
making the best use of the time,
because the days are evil."
~Eph. 5:15-16

"Your tea is getting cold," my husband said to me one night. "Aren't you coming to bed yet? I'd like to spend some time with you." Anxiously I made a few quick clicks with my mouse. "Not quite yet, just a few more things to do." My eyes were glued to my computer as I immersed myself in a friend's posting on facebook. Definitely need to write her a quick encouraging note. And did I remember to scan the latest deals and print those Huggies coupons? I can't go to the grocery without them! Oh look, an email from so-and-so!

An hour later I sank into bed. There were so many other blogs I wanted to read and sites I wanted to visit, but I was feeling guilty. I snuggled up to my husband and started to browse through my parenting magazine. My tea was cold.

"Hooked Online." The words on the page jumped out at me. "Three reasons moms are addicted to the internet." Addiction. Addiction. I stole a shy glance at Matt. He hadn't took notice of the headline. Cautiously I continued reading; I had that feeling that this article was meant for me. Sure enough, the author's word struck a chord... and it wasn't good. Perhaps the most identifying passage was this one:

"I started following coupon sites and became so engrossed in finding deals that I neglected the important things, like time with my son, for a while."

I've done this!!! While the article seemed to focus more on a mother's need for social stimulation (no comment) what I gleened was more a recognition of time-consuming bad habits. The mother mentioned above pursued something good, but at the cost of what was best. How often am I unintentionally doing that?

~

These past few weeks I've been contemplating time. Certainly as a new mom I've started seeing time as my enemy. There's never enough of it to accomplish my tasks. At the recommendation of a friend, I began reading Shopping for Time, a marvelous book written by a woman I couldn't esteem more highly. Her advice comes right from scripture: look carefully; live purposefully.

Look carefully... make the best use... days are evil. So, I looked. There it was: my computer. It's on from morning 'til night. I'm on it for work. I'm on it for play. I have to have it to score the best deals. And where would I find half my recipes without it? It's all good. But it's not the best. It's become my distraction. My bad habit keeping me from wholely pursuing my duties. What's yours?

I've witnessed so many other friends battling with this type of behavior. Ladies, we need to be proactive about sitting down and recognizing our priorities. The days are evil, now let's wisely take them on. For me, that meant sitting down and listing my priorities, and deciding where the internet fit (or didn't fit!) with them.

1. First and foremost, I am a child of God. He is my first priority and my time sitting at the foot of the cross, studying His word and bathing my day in prayer is SO important. Nothing must distract me from that time. (No internet here.)

2. My household comes next, and with it several smaller categories. I can't help but recall the Proverbs 31 woman (Lord, help us all! :-)): She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. (Prov. 31:27)

a) My husband. He is my primary focus. As his wife I am first and foremost his help-mate. Now, I should start acting like it. :-) That means children, church... everything else must come after. (Internet only if I need to use it to serve him in some way.)

b) My children. Training them in godliness and teaching them is next on my list. (No internet here.)

c) My home. This includes cleanliness, meals - whatever it takes to keep my home in working, efficient order. This also includes keeping house the way that would best please my husband and serve my children. It also includes being a good steward of what resources we have. Here is where couponing, bargain shopping, etc comes in for me. Even here, though, some prioritization is needed. Cleanliness comes before couponing, etc. (Internet: limited.)

3. Work. This is a given for internet, but I must remember that it comes after everything else. For me, household things typically get done in the morning, then work follows after my devotions during Morenna's morning nap. (Yay for naps!) (Internet: yes, but for one primary purpose.)

4. Social Service. Hurray! Play time! Last but not least is my time for social interaction... playgroups, phone calls, facebook, email, blogging, you name it! And by the grace of God, here it is... right where it belongs. (If you're wondering about this post, yes, my chores are done for today, Morenna is napping, my husband is studying... FREEDOM! ) Whoops... now I have to go get lunch. :-)

There is such joy in looking carefully and evaluating your time. At the end of a weary day, you can look back and smile, knowing that what needed to get done, did get done. And like the Proverbs 31 woman, we can now laugh at the days to come.

Won't you join me in making the best use of our time?

Thriving

Dear Journal,

Thriving. I've often voiced to M since Morenna's been born my longing not just to "get by", but to "thrive".

I want to be as a tall oak by a flowing stream that gives brilliant beauty in every season. Beautiful. Useful. Strong.

Yet so often I feel as though I'm a cactus in a parched desert, with just enough water to make it through one more sun-scorched day. I offer little beauty to the world around me. No shade. Just sharp thorns for any passerby.

But even the cactus can flower. It's a choice.

Each tree is beautiful; each serves a purpose in bringing glory to God. I need to find contentment as either, for each relies on equal amounts of God's grace to get through the day.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
~ 2 Corinthians 12:9

Individualism vs. Education

Matt and I wrote this post for the BreakPoint "The Point" blog.

Here is the quote we wanted, but couldn't, place at the end:

When an opponent declares, "I will not come over to your side," I calmly say, "Your child belongs to us already... What are you? You will pass on. Your descendants, however, now stand in the new camp. In a short time they will know nothing else but this new community."

~ Adolf Hitler

Touche.

Toys for the Housewife

(Get your mind out of the gutter)

Otherwise Entitled: Ode to My Swiffer Duster

I can't believe I'm actually dedicating precious time and energy to blogging about this, but allow me to say: I love my new Swiffer Duster!

I bought one at random last night as part of a huge (but inexpensive) CVS purchase and I haven't stopped swiffering (is that a word) since I opened the box. Unlike other dusters that simply push the dust around, the Swiffer really does pick up all the little dust particles. It's perfect for any type of dusting job.

But the best part of all is that it's incredibly fluffy and soft. It just begs to be pet between jobs.

Ok. Did I really just say that?

If You Came Over to My House...

You would see: A pile of unorganized shoes by the front door; Morenna's exersaucer in the living room with multiple burp rags scattered about; paper snow flakes that are still hanging on our back door and a pile of coupons on the kitchen table.

I’d probably feed you: Banana oatmeal chocolate chip cookies (homemade), peach pie (also homemade), chips and salsa or some really delicious Bing cherries I have in my fridge.

And offer you this to drink: Milk, homemade iced tea with mango, cranberry/blueberry juice, water, hot tea or coffee. Sorry, no soft drinks.

I’d undoubtedly ask if you’d read: Any good theories on LOST or the recent, stupid, Washington Post article on racial bias.

I’d want to play this music for you: Coldplay's new album, Viva la Vida

I’d want to tell you the latest about: Morenna's sleeping habits; the money I've saved by shopping at CVS; my devotional time; Morenna's first laugh.

I’d probably suggest a game of: Carcassonne, Settlers of Catan, Backgammon.

I might show off: My new laptop or my new cell phone. Both are pretty spiffy.

I might get on the computer and show you: Recent snapshots of Morenna or one of the recent newsletters.

If it was a long enough visit, I might watch: Transformers on our home theater system. I love showing off the bass in that movie... or if it was a ladies gathering perhaps a Thin Man, or Jane Austen favorite?


Many thanks to Leeann for the inspiration for this post. :-)

At the risk of being a link-dump...

I have to say this blog that a friend at work called my attention to is really funny, although very shallow. A genuine jab at pale Americans. The post on moving to Canada is probably my favorite... right up there with #55 on apologies.

Note: Not personally responsible for any questionable blog content. I didn't read ALL the entries.

Meme's Galore

So I was tagged by a friend to participate in this latest meme. But before I do I must discuss the some sentiment on the practice of memes.

It's been my experience that most bloggers tend to fall into one of three major categories concerning memes:

1. Those who appreciate them about as much as they appreciate the senseless chain emails that float about in their inboxes. You know, the ones with the sob stories that demand you forward the email to ten of your friends or else half of the children in Africa will die and God will stop loving you.

2. Those who neither like nor dislike them. If a friend tags them, they are more than happy to participate, but they don't often initiate them.

3. Those who think they're a world of social networking fun and would be happy to participate in one daily. Not to mention they like the word itself. Meme.

That said, it's safe to announce I'm in the second school of thought. But I hesitate to tag others for fear that they might be in the first school and terminate our friendship. :-) Therefore, I'm going to do something a teensy bit different with this meme. No one will be tagged at the end, but if you read this post, haven't participated in this meme before, and belong to the first or second school of thought... then please personally respond to the questions in the comment section of this post. I'm thinking specifically of Sandy S., Brittany/Alecia A., Cami, Aunt P., etc. You guys don't have blogs, but I know you read mine... so make yourself known. ;-)


And the rules are...

1.) Show some cyber-love to the person who tagged you. -- Well, I've never shown anyone cyber-love. That sounds rather sketchy. But here's to my friend, SEM, who has the most darling little girl and is a fantastic, well-rounded Mom to boot!

2.) Post the 5 Meme Commandments on your blog so no one cheats. -- You're reading them.

3.)Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself without grossing anyone out. Below.

4.) Tag 6 random people at the end. -- Change of plans, as mentioned above. So I guess that means I'm cheating... but it's all in good fun. :-)

5.) Let the lucky winners know by commenting on their blog. -- What if they don't have blogs? ;-) Who wrote these rules, anyway?!

And now for the the real reason you've kept on reading:

1.) Last year I posted seven random facts about myself (my meme of 2007 :-) and I grossed a couple people out with #1 and #7... so I guess I can't restate that one here or else I would be breaking rule number 3. :-)

2.) When I'm trying to wake up in the morning I usually hum random made-up melodies with my head buried in my pillow until I'm more awake. My husband thinks it's cute.

3.) Through my entire pregnancy I've had a STRONG aversion to chicken and a craving for Pop-Tarts and Toaster Strudels.

4.) On Christmas Eve I still leave out milk and cookies for my :cough: Dad and insist that the Christmas Tree stay lit throughout the night. It's been that way since I was a little girl.

5.) When I was younger I used to wake up in the middle of the night and be terrified that I was the only one in the whole world who was awake. (Excuse: we lived in the country so it was pretty darn quiet at night.)

6.) I drew the cover illustrations for the book, "The Penguins of Penguin Town", for a local library contest when I was nine. Seven years later the librarian who organized the contest discovered the book when the library was getting ready to dispose of it and saved it for me. It now will be part of Morenna's new little library.

So it's was the Monday before Thanksgiving...

And I realized that I haven't posted much in the last week or so. Unfortunately I don't have this great ability to spin interesting factoids about my life out of thin air, hence the silence when I have little exciting news to report. :-)

I joined Facebook a week or two ago. I'm not sure what made me go and do a thing like that, but I did. After breaking into a sweat that somehow I'd published all this private information about myself in a public place, I came to the conclusion that Facebook provided a believable allusion of safety and most likely I wouldn't die in my sleep. This just in: I'm still alive.

In other news, I've passed the halfway point in my adventure with pregnancy. I can't say I'm a huge fan of the whole experience, but I'm certainly grateful that the days seem brighter than they were four months ago. Our little cherry blossom has become quite the little mover and shaker. Consequently, my nights are quickly becoming sleepless half-starved ones. Ah life with my baby and me.

M and I painted the nursery this weekend. Pics are coming soon.

Also this weekend I saw a light at the end of the tunnel of wedding "thank you" notes. I think I'm down to about 45 left (don't ask how many I've done). Note: If you still haven't received your much-deserved note from us... know that we love you and we are obviously saving the best for last. Really.

Death by Molasses

So today I discovered a random bit of American history that I previously knew nothing about.

It all started with a personal phone call I received from my OB today, announcing my blood test results were anemic. Fantastic. So like the good patient I desire to be, I immediately hopped online to discover what high-iron foods I haven't been eating. To my surprise, blackstrap molasses was listed as one of the highest forms of natural iron available. Molasses?

After pilphering through my kitchen cabinets I was excited to unearth a whole jar of blackstrap molasses (random, I know. Who knows what else might be in my cabinets). Sure enough, one tablespoon = 70% iron! Whoo hoo... an iron source that's half sugar! Ha Ha. But anyway, I digress.

So as I'm surfing the web for bits of molasses info, I come across a mention of the Great Boston Molasses Disaster of 1919. Thinking it was probably some funny tidbit of history, I clicked through the story and was agast to find out what a devistating tragedy it really was!

More than 2 million gallons of fermented molasses spilled onto the streets of Boston in a wave over 10 feet tall, moving about 35 miles per hour. Mor than 20 were killed and more than 150 were injured, not to mention the economic repercussion and a harbor that was brown with goo for months. Yuck!

"Molasses, waist deep, covered the street and swirled and bubbled about the wreckage. Here and there struggled a form — whether it was animal or human being was impossible to tell. Only an upheaval, a thrashing about in the sticky mass, showed where any life was.... Horses died like so many flies on sticky fly-paper. The more they struggled, the deeper in the mess they were ensnared. Human beings — men and women — suffered likewise."

So tell me, did you know about this bit of history? I certainly found it very facinating and wondered why I had never heard about it before.

Thought for the Day...

A thought for the day by Robert Heinlein (who was the most popular, influential, and controversial authors of "hard" science fiction, according to Wiki):

“A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.”

I'm not sure if this leaves me feeling accomplished or inept. :-)

Days of Rest

Fall is in the air... there's no doubt about that. I'm pretty sure it arrived Wednesday of last week and has been blowing about since then. With it came the strongest desire to go apple-picking and hiking, something I can't exactly do at the moment, but it's on the calendar. :-) My mind has been lost in thoughts of homemade goodies like apple pie, pumpkin bread, apple butter and butternut squash. Mmmm.

Saturday was absolutely beautiful here and I felt the best I had in days. I was able to take a shower (not a bath like I'd been doing the past 5 weeks - yuck!) and make the bed. I ran into a bit of an awkward dilemma, though, when I could not find any clothes that fit me. I guess that's what I get for wearing pajamas for so long.

Arm in arm with my husband we went out into the fall air for a little walk and I felt the sun on my face for the first time in weeks. How glorious and refreshing it was! Matt spent the rest of the day doing household chores and I watched the Ohio State football game (how's that for a little role reversal?). Finally as the sun set, Matt and I reminisced of childhood memories of fall... camping, harvest parties, rolling around in hay, pumpkin carving. It was a delicious day.

Laying Low...

For one reason or another, M and I have been laying low. I haven't been feeling the greatest and it's been so muggy outside that the indoors has been preferable.

Last weekend RJK and I had the awesome opportunity to go to the Kennedy Center to see Phantom of the Opera! It was incredible, and we had such a great time with our "girl's night out". The show was definitely worth the $$ we payed, and the seats were fantastic.

For those of you who have been dying to know - yes, my cherry tomato plant is doing marvelously... I plucked 12 bright red fruits from the thick vines yesterday and we ate them on steak kabobs. Mmm.

I promise to post something more interesting later.