Welcome, Water Baby!

On September 5th we welcomed our fourth child and third daughter: Jordynn Evangeline Marie…. This is her story:

Born @ 7:42PM
8lbs 6oz
19inches

For you GUYS who might be reading, here’s an abbreviated version:
 
True labor started around 9am Wednesday morning Sept 5th and 10.5 hours later we had a live baby at home. Yes, my husband missed the very first NFL game. No, he didn’t complain about it, albeit he glanced mournfully at the TV every 5 minutes. Just kidding. 



And for the LADIES:

1. Why a homebirth?

2. Jordynn's Story


Let me first answer a pressing question… why a homebirth? 

My previous two births were attended by terrific CNMs (certified nurse-midwives) who had hospital privileges. I had good experiences with them, however, Jadyn and MJ were both diagnosed with shoulder dystocia during labor. This uncommon issue can be an obstetrical emergency resulting in damage or even death to the infant in severe cases. Thankfully our issues were never so serious. That said, my CNM with MJ was a bit shaken by our birth experience and she encouraged us to induce or grow a smaller baby the next time around. Ha!

When I returned pregnant with Jordynn, I found I had a bit of a reputation in the CNM’s office for my shoulder dystocia experience. As the months went on I grew tired of their continued mention of it and their reluctance to let me have the hospital birth I wanted simply because I was a bit of a liability. Concurrently I read “Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth,” a wonderful, albeit very crunchy, book written by one of the US’s most experienced midwives. Ina seemed unshaken by the urgency of shoulder dystocia which inspired me to do my own research about the issue.  I came away feeling strongly that my past births weren’t truly shoulder dystocia cases; the baby was simply not given time to rotate properly. Furthermore, all the safety the hospital afforded me in that situation was the possibility of a C-Section, in which event the baby is usually so stuck that the time required to prep for surgery can be too long. 

Armed with this info Matt and I confidently switched to a small home-birth midwifery practice in my eighth month.  Though so late in my pregnancy the midwives agreed with my evaluation that I most likely didn’t have dystocia issues and simply needed better support, direction and patience in labor... and they agreed to give it to me. Thus we fast-forward to September… 

Jordynn initiated her arrival in mid-August when my enemy/”friend” prodromal labor arrived. I fully anticipated a baby during week 39 and experienced contractions every day from 4pm-10pm starting around week 38. I was less than thrilled when no baby appeared days later. Ditto the following week.  Aaaaand ditto the following week. Seriously?! Me, past my due date?! Three weeks of prodromal crap?! Inconceivable!  

Me at 41 weeks

September 4th I started having stronger contractions in the morning – rather unusual from the prodromal pattern – and they continued all day at 3-5 minutes apart. I asked one of my midwives to come check the baby and she did a cervical check as well… no change. I was still 3cm and 60% as I had been for weeks. So after a Tylenol, a glass of wine and a good cry Matt and I went to bed. They stopped sometime in the night.

*Drumroll, please….*

Wednesday September 5th found me 41 weeks, 4 days preggo. And tired. And cranky. Thankfully I had a mother’s helper lined up for the morning and when she arrived I escaped upstairs to call one of my best friends. Then a *real* contraction hit. Finally! 

(Prodromal labor often leaves a laboring woman feeling so stupid when real labor starts. It’s rather retrospective in that sense… only in hindsight can you look back and say… “oh, yes, I WAS in labor”. However, there was no doubt in my mind that we finally reached a birth day. Yay!)

I didn’t time my contractions (I never do when they are the real thing since they are ALWAYS irregular. Whoever met a textbook laboring woman, anyway?) but they were intensifying so I called my midwives to cancel my office appointment and let them know I’d be needing them later. Once the kiddos were down for their naps my mom came over and we watched “Sense and Sensibility”. Contractions were now at the small land-mammal noise-making level. :-) Progress!

At 4pm… it was time to rid the house of small children. My parents graciously obliged and I finished the movie alone while waiting for the midwives to arrive. Matt busied himself by preparing our last minute items and tending to me when my primal noises approached the more mid-sized land-mammal level.

 -- Might I interject here how AWESOME it was not to have to prepare to head to the hospital! It was SO much more relaxed and comfortable at home. Using my own bathroom :-). No pressing thoughts of who else had been laboring on the toilet... --

My 3 midwives, Jill, Tanya and Alison arrived at 5pm. Two focused solely on me and my comfort while the other joined Matt in filling the birth tub in our living room. I still had no trouble working through these contractions; my biggest hurdle was the knowledge of what was coming and dreading… dreading… dreading. There is bliss in first-time birth. Not so much in subsequent ones.

Around 6pm I climbed in the tub and fell in love. I thought for sure I wouldn’t like it or would feel out of control working through contractions. Not so. Though the "pain" wasn't lessened for me, the weightlessness afforded more opportunities for movement without feeling like a beached whale. 

For the next half hour or so I floated through the “squeezes” and chatted about random topics. Matt was a huge comfort in the tub as he rubbed my back and the midwives helped me keep my voice low. I was encouraged to gauge my own labor progress (a very empowering thing) and finally close to 7pm I was starting to struggle with the intensity. 

--Enter aquatic-mammal noises and lots of whining.—

By this time my mind was chanting “no, no, no” while the rest said “oh yes, oh yes, oh yes.” I told the midwives I was feeling “pushy” and lo and behold the next contraction had a double peak… the first peak broke my water (a lovely and non-messy thing being in the tub!) and the second peak brought Jordynn completely down to crowning. It was so fast that she was very bruised afterward, poor thing.

The midwives helped me control my pushing more than I had with the previous three, which I both loved and loathed them for. During this time it was great to be floating in the water, leaning into Matt’s arms. Pushing in the water didn’t annoy me at all like I thought it would. I still felt very in control and as my contractions eased off I found I could relax much more than being in a hospital bed. And who couldn't with Enya playing in the background and my favorite candle burning nearby?

 After those few intense minutes of waiting, I delivered her head and breathed a sigh of relief. Jordynn had her cord wrapped firmly around her neck but it was still pulsing so the midwives decided to just let her be and summersault her out when the time came.

And now the moment of truth was here… would she be “stuck” like the other two had been? The midwives waited quietly and patiently, watching Jordynn’s color and asking me if I felt any further contractions. I didn’t. So we waited… and waited. For two entire minutes the midwives sat back and just let my body do its thing. It was wonderful. I was in no discomfort and thoroughly enjoyed the rest, floating in the warm water. Sloooowly Jordynn rotated as she was supposed to, but I had no further contractions. My senior midwife suggested I flip to my hands and knees to see if that would trigger a contraction. It was so easy to manipulate myself in the water and the very process of moving definitely kicked things back into gear. One push and out she came… with no shoulder issues whatsoever.

They left Jordynn floating in the water while I turned back around and sat down. I was able to pick her up out the water on my own and lay her on my chest. (‘Tis a very strange thing to see your new baby grayish-blue and floating face down in the water. I’m so glad I had watched numerous water birth videos to prepare me for that!) I rubbed her back and the midwives gave her a few pumps of air. Her first little cry was a pathetic one but within minutes she perked up and let us have it!
 

I climbed out of the tub minutes later and walked to the couch carrying our new child. I delivered the afterbirth there quite easily. Then the midwives excused themselves and Matt and I had a good hour just staring at her by ourselves. It was wonderful! Afterward I had a snack, went upstairs, took a shower, put on my own pajamas and cuddled up in bed while they did the newborn assessment. I felt terrific! I could never have hoped for a more peaceful and beautiful home birth experience.

 

 

Home birth is certainly not for everyone, but to those who are interested I would heartily encourage them to give it a try. My midwives were intuitive and confident in their work (much more than even the CNMs I’ve had in the past) and amazed me with their support and good humor. Moreover, they chose to encourage me in being confident in my body’s ability to do its thing, especially as we moved further past my due date, and in my own intuition. Jordynn showed no signs of being post-term and my placenta had no calcification either. Clearly, my worrying was for not.

Overall the homebirth and waterbirth experience was empowering and peaceful and I would do it again in the future. I loved avoiding the medical stresses of being "watched" in the hospital with the chaos that surrounds most moments at birth and finding comfort and deep peace in remaining at home. It truly reduced the birth experience to the natural, God-ordained physiological event that it is.That's not to say there isn't a place to medical intervention, but I'm a firm believer it should be the exception and not the norm. I hope this story encourages others to believe likewise.

Our new family of six!

A Lesson in Parenting

We’re home! There are still boxes to be unpacked and the occasional home maintenance project to conquer, but we’re moved. I hope to resume posting now as time allows, and I’m jumping in with both feet today. I know you’re probably anxious for pictures, but for now you’ll have to bear with me as I pour out some thoughts on a rather deep topic this morning. :-) Ah, it’s good to be back.

~

I was so discouraged yesterday by my eldest's disobedience. She was blatantly rebellious throughout the day and I’m sorry to admit that I lost my temper on several occasions.  Badly.

The guilt floods in then: “what a poor role model I am!” “How can I expect her to act a certain way, when I’m not acting that way?” 

With the guilt comes feelings of failure and fear. “Am I not training her correctly?”

God in His holiness knows not failure or fear, and yet how often do I act the same way as my child? However, He extends His grace to me, knowing that I battle not against flesh and blood, but against sin. And He has compassion towards me. Again and again.

I would do well to remember this during my daughter’s bouts of disobedience. Even Paul, a grown adult, grieved that he knew what was right yet did not do it (Romans 7:19 ). All mankind wrestles similarly, yet the Lord remains patience and loving towards His children.

I need to respond in kind, not in anger, but in compassion, as I strive to teach and equip my children to overcome the sin in their own lives.

Which brings me to my anger. My righteous anger, I like to think. In truth, it’s yet another example of my sin, as I am searching for my own glorification through the model behavior of my child. If I wasn’t wresting with wounded pride when I correct her, I would have no fuel for my anger. Only compassion for my sister in Christ who is struggling as I am.

And that is what I want: compassion. I’m so glad today is a new day.

Double, Double... Toil and Trouble?

I got me some bravery earlier this week. :-) Many of you may laugh at my heroic efforts, but the truth of it is... I gave both the girls a bath at the same time.

Oh, yeah. I = awesome.

Or not.

‘Tis true that many before me have done this and more. I’m sure my sweet aunt, the mother of twins that she is, is reading this and smirking at me. Oh honey, if only you knew.

But I did it. I’m pleased no one drowned. And I have the pictures to prove it.

Does it count if each girl was in her own bathtub?

Cherry Blossoms!

Morenna’s middle name, Sakura, is Japanese for cherry blossom. Matt and I chose that name for a reason; she was born on the first day of the D.C. cherry blossom festival two years ago. You may remember my friend Rachel and I packed up our newborns and headed down for pictures in the blossoms. Morenna was less than two weeks old.

Well, as is tradition, Rachel and I packed up the kids – four kids now, ages 2 and under – and headed down to the D.C. chaos to snap a few pictures. The kids have certainly changed... but the blossoms hadn’t. :-)

It was a beautiful day to go, sunny and in the low 70s. We packed a picnic lunch and sat under the trees next to the tidal basin (not too brilliant of an idea when you have two little ones interested in water and ducks, with nothing between them and the enticing waves lapping the sides of the basin).

But we all survived. Yes, much to our surprise Rachel and I survived... and we’ll probably do it all again next year. Maybe. :-)

And of course we snagged some fun pictures:

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Of Poppins and Priorities

Since the beginning of the year, Morenna’s video of choice has been Mary Poppins.  Such an honor bestowed upon a movie means that it is watched dozens hundreds of times.

It was fun at first, bringing to mind memories of my own childhood pleasures surrounding the popular songs and lighthearted magic.

But I grew bored with the fact I could recite the script by memory. I had dishes to do, a floor to clean... and no one around was going to snap their fingers to complete it for me.

Somewhere around the 27th viewing *yawn*, I woke up and began to catch on to some iconic dimensions of the movie I had missed the 26 times before.

I’m slow, I know.

I sat there, suddenly aware of how greatly I was behaving like those in the movie.

Mrs. Banks was a valiant knight in the world of women’s rights; namely, their right to vote. To have a say. Fighting to have an impact in the world around her.

Yet she overlooked the greatest impact of all: motherhood. And it was slipping away from her.

Mr. Banks was a noteworthy, important man. His job defined him; he was a great investor.

Yet he didn’t invest in the right things. His “life ambitions go, with one fowl blow” and he realizes those ambitions were build on the sands of disillusionment.

What a perfect movie for a discontented, stressed out momma to watch.

It’s not about the daily chores; it’s about the time invested in the lives of my children. Motherhood is what I prayed for during those years through high school and college. The blessing was given to me... now what am I choosing to do with it?

One of the only blogs I take time to read is (In)Courage. Earlier this month a writer posted an article entitled, “In the Season of Rain, Pray for Rain.” It touched a disillusioned part of my heart and has drastically altered how I proceed in my day.

In the words of Zechariah, “Ask for rain from the Lord in the season of the spring rain, from the Lord who makes the storm clouds, and he will give them showers of rain . . . .” (Zechariah 10:1)

Here’s the message, mommas. We’re the caretakers of little souls right now. It’s our season. And like all seasons, we know it only lasts for a short time before passing on. Remind yourself of this the next time a small being attaches themselves to your leg while dinner is burning, the dryer is buzzing and you can’t find a matching pair of shoes because someone smaller than you was reeking havoc in your closet this morning.

You’re in this season, so pray for this season. Pray for grace and peace and joy. And most of all, pray for wisdom to make a worthwhile, solid, investment. Won’t you join me?

And it can’t hurt to pray that someone like Mary Poppins arrives to snap her fingers and clean your house. :-)

Some Random Thoughts on Babies

A friend of mine is expecting her first little bundle of joy in just a few short weeks. Her husband scored some major points this last Valentine's Day by surprising her with a "book of wisdom" so-to-speak, chocked full advice from her friends and family who had already embarked on the journey of motherhood.


I don't know how much "wisdom" I contributed, but it was a great exercise to brainstorm and collect my thoughts on caring for newborns and beyond. And for posterity's sake (hehe) I'm reposting my thoughts here.

And what the heck?! Most of you are more seasoned moms than I am. I'd love to hear your wisdom on the matter!


Tips on Young Motherhood

True Intimacy

I've never been one to celebrate Valentine's Day. Perhaps this is a result of my childhood. My parents were never big on any market-driven holiday, but we ate our heart-shaped pancakes, told family members we loved them (like we did every day) and moved on.

During my college years the journey of singleness made me much more aware of Valentine's Day. Friends went out with their significant others and I sat alone in my dorm room wearing black in protest. A true model of maturity right there. ::Cough::

Although there was that one year when a friend and I graced our male counterpart's cubicle with bright red streamers and heart confetti - just cuz it bred annoyance. Who knew I was really pranking my future husband. Hehe.

But now I'm married and we still don't really celebrate the big love fest. But in light of yesterday's holiday, I found this post a true encouragement... and a great reminder. Here's an exerp:

Unaware of themselves in the garden, Adam and Eve walked with God,
and they were naked. They were completely exposed, and they were not
work-driven, and they did not have babies hanging on their legs, sitting on
their hips, poking their eyes, squeezing their noses, or drooling down their
backs.

Oh how we want the garden back sometimes after we have babies! Oh how sweet the garden seems when we're looking back from our over-worked positions - whatever they may be! Don't we crave such time and depth with Christ that we become one with Him, know His thoughts, and love how He loves? Don't we survive by keeping intimacy with Him, in prayer?

What is missing for me is the humility and discernment to say NO when needed, so I can say YES when needed, and I keep asking myself if I were to arrange my life so that intimacy with the Lover my soul were my priority, then wouldn't intimacy with my husband become a great byproduct of that - an overflow?

~ Taken from "An Intimacy Experiment" over at (In)Courage.

Just a Servantless American Mother

It’s 1am as I lay Jadyn softly into her crib. Matt is snoring lightly a few steps away from me, hunkered down under our beloved feather comforter. A quick check on Morenna shows her sprawled out in her crib, her blanket in a wad underneath her... as usual. The vaporizer in her room hums in harmony with the humidifier in ours.

As my head hits the pillow and a sigh escapes my lips, my thoughts run hither-skither.

My hair remained in a rather hurried ponytail throughout the day.

There are piles of laundry still lying on our bedroom floor, blocking my half-stupored middle-of-the-night trek to the bathroom. I wonder briefly if I should move them.

Below me I can hear the whir of the dishwasher. It’s been getting it's exercise lately, packed to the max with the dishes from our meals, from our snacks, and from the various excursions Morenna takes them on throughout the day. I’m too tired to wash half of them by hand.

It’s supposed to snow tomorrow. The power is likely to go out. Better change my plan of attack to accomplish all the cooking and baking before we’re left in a black and quiet state.

And the diapers. Ooo, better not forget to wash the diapers so we have a fresh stash to take us through the snowdays, too.

I spent the last few minutes of the evening addressing my to-do list. “Hello, list. You’re a rather cold bedfellow.” Instead, I busied myself with organizing my personal notebook, arranging a better meal-planning approach, and paying some bills. I wish I could find some time to blog.

We ate popcorn. Yes, Matt and I ate popcorn... at 10pm. It’s become our new ritual, our saving grace. Homemade caramel lattes and homemade popcorn. We’re suddenly kids again and we smirk each time our hands happen to touch in the bowl. We snack and quiz each other. “Passing the Bar” is our new shared game each evening. At least it is for another two weeks.

::Sigh:: Yes, it was a busy day.

Dear reader, it’s been a difficult journey for me these last two months. If you’ve wondered why posts are few and far between, why there have been no pictures - now you know.

I’ve never been one to do well with little sleep, so once we returned from our Christmas travels, I hit a wall in attempting to care for my family while maintaining 5 broken hours of rest each night. And take care of two sick children and myself. And clip coupons. And play dress-up. And take a shower.

It’s been a lesson in humility. A good lesson. A lesson the Lord has wanted to teach me for quite some time, and I’ve been too self-absorbed to learn it.

Just this: I’m not as a great as I think I am.

I’m not superwoman, despite manipulating my circumstances to make it seem like I am.

And I’m learning this the hard way; I’m being brought to the end of myself by sheer necessity and physical exhaustion. And it’s good.

So that said, there are lots of thoughts and pictures and random stuff I want to share here... but in the days ahead there may be periods of silence. Know that in the quiet moments I’m still here, I’m just preoccupied with a lesson. :-)

All About Roo - How She Got Here

I'm so glad Jadyn (a.k.a. Roo, GiGi [as Morenna calls her], Pumpkin) has joined our family. It was a bit of a long road ushering her into our family, but the joy of new life outweighs it all. Thankfully.

Otherwise there would be no more babies.

And our family would stay good and small. Really small.

I was fairly sure that labor the second time around would be a breeze, both mentally and emotionally, and perhaps physically, too. First time: ignorant and unsure. Second time: experienced and seasoned. Right?

Labor with Jadyn was a surprise. A mentally, emotionally, and physically-taxing surprise. I anticipated her arrival would be an early one. Perhaps Thanksgiving Day? It would be fun to have a child born on Easter and a child born on Thanksgiving. So we planned.

The Tuesday prior, I started having 5 minute regularly-spaced, but manageable, contractions. Based on my experience laboring with Morenna, I took this to be early labor and waited for them to become more irregular (in my case) but grow in intensity. Five hours later, they stopped.

Ok.

Wednesday they came again. As the sun hung low in the sky, they started. Six hours later, they stopped.

OK.

Thanksgiving day we prepared to celebrate our first holiday at home. (More on this, later... with pictures of some super-awesome homemade cinnamon rolls!) My parents were in town and my best friend and her hubby came over to join us in our feast. I spent a large part of the morning on my feet dabbling in food prep, but they [my feet, that is] swelled up and commanded me to take a chair. The rest of the afternoon was spent in a turkey-coma, curled up and happily watching football. Again the contractions started, but I was able to ignore them fairly well. At 11pm, my head hit the pillow.

Little did I know this would be my last night of full rest.

Blah.

Not that I would have done anything different had I known. I slept. It was good. The end.

Friday was a pleasant day and my hubby was home from work. In the afternoon we took a good, long, walk around our neighborhood with Morenna and Uncle Feather (my parent's dog, a.k.a. Buddy). Once we returned home, my contractions started up yet again. At this point they required my complete attention. Still they came regularly... 7 minutes apart. Could this be it? I was growing a bit weary of the start and stop method my body was taking, so I did my best to ignore them.

But they weren't easily ignored. And they continued...on... and on... and on. I cautiously, but eagerly announced that I thought this was it! Eight hours went by. I was exhausted... with no noticeable progress. I slept as I could, but they were strong enough to wake me up throughout the night. And then they stopped. STOPPED. The sun rose. But my spirits sank. Was I missing something?

Saturday I tried to be positive. Breakfast out with my hubby... and then a good, long, devotional certainly helped. I rested. I lived. And then, just as the sun was setting, they came again. Strong. Intense. Regular. I breathed through them and waited for some progress. Two hours... four hours... six hours... eight. All through the night I contracted. Breathed. But no progress came. And they stopped.

I guess it would be no surprise that Sunday's sunrise found me frustrated, exhausted, and utterly confused. What was going on!? I was supposed to know how this whole labor thing works... and yet I was more lost than ever. Moreover, my uterus seemed to be stuck in an everlasting contraction of sorts. I just couldn't get it to relax. I felt as though I had done enough crunches to satisfy even Marine standards.

To ease my weary and troubled mind, I spent the morning browsing the internet trying to find some consolation as to what was going on. Then I stumbled upon a support group for mothers dealing with prodromal labor. It was a jackpot of encouragement to me as I identified with all the symptoms to a "T". I wasn't going crazy. Phew.

At my husband's insistence, though, I decided to phone my midwife to tell her what had been going on and to ask for a sleeping pill so I could get some rest. After just a few seconds of dialog she replied, "well sweetie, it sounds like you're wrestling through some nasty prodromal labor."

Gee. Maybe I should have called her to begin with and saved myself the time of research. :-)

She suggested I come in for a brief non-stress test for the baby and she'd check to see if the contractions had been productive or non-productive. She reasoned, "Given what happened with your first birth, I just wouldn't want to prescribe you a sleeping pill if you're farther along than we realize."

Matt and I headed to the birth center and after two hours of monitoring (Jadyn wasn't quite as active at first as they would've liked) my midwife announced I was 3 cm and 60% effaced. I was somewhat relieved all my efforts hadn't been in vain. She offered a sleeping pill or a Tylenol PM for sleep, though she explained my contractions were registering strong enough that I would likely still awake with them. I took the Tylenol and we headed home with instructions to take a hot, relaxing bath to see if my uterus would relax.

It felt so good to have a "diagnosis" of sorts as to what was going on. But my mind still worried as to how I would know when real labor kicked it. From my research, many mothers who had prodromal labor would end up in transition out of nowhere. Given our close call reaching the birthing center with Morenna, I was more and more nervous that this baby would come at home, or in the car. And what if the contractions lasted for days, or even weeks longer? It's not unheard of. Prodromal labor is a nasty, mean, thing.

But my husband lit candles. And turned on peaceful music. The water felt wonderful and I fell asleep. Peacefully asleep. Right there in my bathtub.

Later we put Morenna to bed and then curled up to watch Christmas in Connecticut. My contractions were still coming strong, though, and eventually brought tears to my eyes. I had a good cry. Surprisingly, my whole body relaxed after that for the first time in a while. I fell asleep in the middle of the movie. It was just what needed to happen.

Matt woke me to go to bed a short while later. By the time I reached the bed, though, a wave of nausea swept over me along with the chills. Then I knew. The time had come.

We called our midwife and quickly packed up and headed back to the birthing center. The moon was bright and full as we drove the empty roads. My husband was the perfect driver and we all made it in one piece. :-) His watch chimed midnight as we walked through the doors. I was 5cm and 80%. What a relief. Things were finally happening.

As I soaked in the birthing center tub a short while later, my worries popped up again. What if things stopped? I hadn't slept in two nights - what if this took all night? Was I too tired to manage the non-medicated birth I wanted? I just wasn't sure if I had it in me. We prayed. And God was gracious.

My worries only lasted a short time. Within an hour of being in the tub, I felt the urge to push sweep over me. Yet I was only a 7cm and 90%. My midwife suggested breaking my water. We debated the issue... and then within the next contraction, it broke on its own. Dilemma solved.

And then things really moved fast.

With each subsequent contraction, I pushed... and progressed. 8cm... 9cm... 10. Those contractions were so intense. They didn't even compare to the ones I had with Morenna. But they brought Jadyn to my arms in less than an hour. And then it was all over.

And I didn't cry. I smiled.

We had been at the birthing center for two hours and forty-one minutes.

Jadyn's birth itself was very peaceful. I had wished for that when selecting a midwife this time around and it was exactly how I wanted it. Jadyn was immediately placed on my chest and made only a small whimper. I rubbed her and cuddled with her for more than an hour while the nurse and midwife took care of their various duties. (I tore again, unfortunately... but that is another story in itself. Apparently the shoulders of an 8lb baby need more room to enter the world than those of their smaller but older predecessor.)

Matt sat quietly with me as we stared at the new addition to our family. It was wonderful.

So how long was my labor? the nurse asked. I had no clue what to say. But the midwife smiled and said, "oh, just put down a really long time... like since Tuesday".

Tuesday... Wednesday... Thursday... Friday... Saturday... Sunday... all that mattered was that she was finally here. And it was all over.

God had been faithful once again. And we praised Him for his grace.

Welcome to this world, my sweet little girl. It was a joy to give you life.

More pictures to come, I promise. :-)
And I have video and pictures of Morenna and Jadyn's first meeting that I just can't wait to share!
Other pictures are available here.

'Tis the Season

Wondering where all my promised posts have been regarding our recent family adventure? They're here. In dry dock. Awaiting edited pictures to go along with them.

My pictures are still sitting untouched. The flu paid me a visit this past week and I'm just now getting around to trading in my pajamas for normal clothes.

And my little one has three of four molars poking through.

And last, but certainly not least, I think I'm due to have a baby in a couple weeks.

All that to say that my to-do list hasn't quite shaped up to what I wanted it to be. But here's what I did do today:

- Bestowed lots of kisses on the rosy cheeks of my baby girl
- Visited briefly with a dear friend
- Ran a load of diapers
- Danced with my baby girl
- Stacked dishes in the dishwasher
- Made a loaf of bread
- Cuddled with my baby girl
- Made dinner (for the first time in nearly a week)
- Pushed the "start" button on the dishwasher
- Loved my family

More posts to come soon, I hope. :-)

A New Bum

I briefly mentioned a couple of weeks ago that I took the plunge and switched Morenna over to cloth diapers. I may appear the Queen of Green by doing such a thing, but really the change was influenced by a little emergency preparedness chat my hubby and I had.

Water? Check.
Food? Check.
Battery radio? Check... What else would we possibly need?
Ooo, diapers. What'll we do about that?

So I looked into cloth diapering. I had briefly considered the option when I found out I was pregnant with Morenna, but it held little appeal to me. I know my mom had cloth diapered, but it seemed like a lot of work, albeit she had a diaper service. Besides, I scored cheap diapers at CVS, so the expense for disposables seemed minimal to me.

Yeah, minimal.

Come to find out, paying less than $5 a pack can still add up week after week. Who knew?

My first tour of the world of cloth (the new and improved world of cloth, that is) left my head spinning. After one evening of research, I promptly informed Matt there was no way, no how, I was going to be able to do it. Ah, but I love a challenge.

Once I faced my fear of all the unknown lingo, the choices, the very opinionated mommies... I found a company that offered a trial pack of several well-known, well-liked diapers for only $10. That certainly made things a bit more doable, so I gave it a try.

After just a couple days my thoughts mirrored those of many others I had read: Why in the world didn't I do this from the beginning?

It's true, the front-end dishing out of cash seems like a lot. And the concept of washing poopy diapers each day can sound ridiculous and pricey in resources. But really, it is cheap(er). And the extra work? Well, I haven't really noticed it, other than that one extra trip I have to force my pregnant body take down the stairs to the washer each night.

Cons? Swirling a poop-stained diaper in the toilet isn't my idea of a party. But the biodegradable liners you can put in your diapers pretty much take care of all the dirty work. And I have my eye on this handy-dandy little do-dad that would help out a bit, too.

My favorite pro? Simply put: cloth doesn't stink. Consequently, my trash can doesn't always smell and I don't have nasty, stinky, diapers piling up to be thrown out. Morenna's room always smells fresh, even though the pail of dirty cloth diapers sits there. Very cool. And we're now two months into this. Another pro? Not feeling guilty for buying a pack of diapers because I accidentally ran out. I don't run out. Sweet!

We still sometimes use a disposable diaper at night. Morenna is such a heavy-wetter that the cloth diaper I have to make for nighttime use makes her look like a freakin' grasshopper. One night alone she soaked through 4, yes FOUR, inserts in her diaper and I still ended up putting her in a disposable by night's end. There are lots of other options I could try, but I'm lazy. And honest. :-)

Our daytime diapers of choice have been BumGenius and Fuzzibunz with a few old-fashioned prefolds thrown in. The BumGenius are an easy and cost effective route in my opinion, because they have the ease of disposables and are one-size-fits-all. Once Baby Roo arrives, I won't be forced to sort through a pile of diapers to find which one belongs to who. Both girls will be able to use them!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go hang up some diapers. :-)

Sweet Refreshment and Other Stuff

Who doesn't experience burn-out? During the season of motherhood the "cliffs" of weariness and discouragement seem to ever loom in the not-too-distant future for me to plunge over. And I only have one child! (At least for the next two months!)

This past spring, Matt and I initiated a new Mom's Time-Out on Saturday mornings. What refreshment I've found during that time! He graciously takes Morenna and I escape to the local coffeeshop for a few hours of alone time, followed by any necessary errands I need to run.

Are you feeling ready for a break? Let me encourage you to see if your spouse would be willing to give you some time away.

A couple of my friends have inquired as to what I do with my morning out. Here's a basic overview, in preferential order:

- Eat a slow-paced breakfast someone else prepared;

- Study God's word and prepare my heart for any foreseen challenges in the coming week;

- Evaluate my calendar and think through the events of the coming week;

- Menu plan: I usually do one week at a time and establish my meals based on a day's events. I can always switch it up if my day changes;

- Clip and organize my coupons and shopping list for the upcoming week;

- Balance my share of our budget

- Update my blog: yes, I admit, I only blog once a week. :-) I typically set my posts to run on future dates so that the fresh content pops up all week long; and

- Browse the internet :-)

It's amazed me just how refreshed I feel after being away just for a few hours each Saturday. Mentally I'm refreshed and ready to return to serve my family and my weeks run much more smoothly since I feel on top of things. Many thanks to my hubby for his support of such an outing! :-)

Do any of you do something similar?

This Too Shall Pass

One thing I'm learning as a mommy is that time moves on. Thank. God. It's been a struggle this week to be a patient and energized mommy.

A big struggle.

I'm still playing detective as to where Morenna picked up the new habit of night-waking (teething? hunger? new developmental milestone?) but wherever it came from, she has it. Bad.

Several nights this week she'll wake up between 2am-3am, wide awake. For the first hour or so she'll just sit quietly in her crib and stare at the wall, poor dear. Ask me how I know this? Bathroom visit, every two hours. Blah.

After the initial hour, she'll get frustrated and start whimpering for attention. I give in. I can't help it - I sympathize as I'm dealing with my own pregnancy-related insomnia. There's nothing worse than being awake and feeling like the only one in the world to be that way.

Anyhow, she's always so delighted to see me and will sit quietly on my lap and rock. And rock. And rock. Every now and then she'll count to three, or identify my eyes, nose, mouth, and ears, or ask about her favorite book. An hour later, she'll start asking for food, milk, juice, her toys. Finally around 5am Matt gets up for work, so she laughs and chatters while chasing him around the bathroom as he gets dressed. Did you catch the time? Yeah, 2-3 hours later.

I can rarely get her back to bed until around 6am. She'll sleep until about 9am and then be grumpy and out of sorts the rest of the day until naptime. From what I've read, this night-waking phase usually lasts from month 18 to month 20. We'll see about that.

Sounds like I'll get one back into the habit of nighttime sleeping just in time to welcome a new addition... with her own reasons for night-waking. Fun stuff!

One thing in which I have found comfort is the wisdom of seasoned moms, saying: "This too shall pass." Should nothing I try work, I know this won't last forever.

I hope. :-)

All About Roo

"Roo" is our nickname for the newest addition to our family. With that introduction, I figured it was time for a little pregnancy update. :-)

I'll be 18 weeks on Thursday. Roo has been a very active little one for the past couple of weeks, kicking around much earlier (or at least so I've noticed) than Morenna. Matt and I are anxiously counting down the days until our ultrasound when we hopefully discover the gender. He's hoping for a boy. I'm not quite sure what I'm hoping for... other than a healthy baby. Perhaps another girl?

My reasoning for a girl is really twofold: 1) to prove that my morning sickness severity with Morenna was simply that of a first-timer; 2) Morenna will have a close-in-age sister... something I always wished I had.

At any rate, this pregnancy has been so different from my first, with all the quirky pains and growth coming in a much earlier time-frame. I heard you "pop" sooner with subsequent children... but I was in maternity clothes by week 9. A bit of a surprise to me.

Food and I aren't the best of friends, though I'm definitely past the queasy stage. My cravings (if you could call them that) have mainly consisted of fruit (peaches, especially), water, Greek salad (strange!) and the occasional pickle. My aversions have been quite the opposite of my pregnancy with Morenna and include beef and sugar... especially ice cream. :-( So sad. On a positive note, though, I'm back up to my pre-pregnancy weight as of last week.

I'm using a local midwifery practice this time around, and so far I love them. I do not love the insurance headache caused by my choice... or that we decided on an HMO policy when Matt switched jobs. That was a dumb idea.

Last visit, Roo chimed in with a strong little heart rate of 150. Ah, I could never grow tired of listening to that chugga-chugga-chugga sound.

Momma at 17 weeks

Being Mommy

Have you wondered where I've been? I've missed posting the happenings around here... but time at my computer has been largely limited lately.

My friend Kelly opened a blogging door for me today, hence my reason for breaking the silence. While it isn't a lack of items to blog about that's been prohibiting my writing, it has been a lack of creativity - a difficulty in eloquent wording - that's also to blame. Her timing in tagging me for this "mommy" post couldn't be better... I needed it.

What I Love About Being Mommy:

1. Fresh views - I love watching Morenna develop in a new way each and every day. She reminds me of a flower, a slow opening bud, that discovers something new about the world each day and is absolutely elated about what she learns. I feel like a kid again myself... and she's only a year old! There is just so much to discover!

2. Innocence, trust, desire. I love witnessing true innocence in Morenna. She fears little and trusts her daddy and I wholeheartedly. What a great example of how we should feel as children of God! It warms my heart to observe her following me so absolutely; scary - yes, but beautiful at the same time. There is also nothing like the feeling that comes when you find how desirable you are to your little one. When Morenna reaches for me, snuggles with me, clings to me... it's me she wants. No one else treats me quite that way. I tear up when I think about that.

3. Family. It amazes me at times the new depth that motherhood has brought to my marriage. Not only am I mom, but the love-of-my-life is dad! Weird! Together we have been blessed with one huge responsibility... and we have to be a team. I also see my husband in a whole new light as the leader of not just our marriage, but our family. My respect for him has definitely grown. He is now more selfless than ever, more gentle than ever, more humble than ever.

4. Similarity. How fascinating to witness various aspects of your character or personality in your little one. I love watching Morenna to see traits of her dad or I pop through. It can be a bit scary at times, but I love it. She is so much like us... but yet so distinctly different, too.

5. Dependability. Perhaps the most sobering aspect of motherhood to me is how much my children depend on me. I love this and fear it at the same time. It matters not if you have days of not wanting to be "mommy". You are mommy... day in and day out. Human lives grow and (by God's grace to us mothers!) thrive because of us. I'm seeing this all too clearly right now as I care for my two children. Yes. Two. Surprised? As I eluted to above, I haven't been in front of my computer much these days... mostly because I've spent it before the porcelain goddess most of us mothers are familiar with. As I've struggled lately with how to care for Morenna, care for my household, and manage sickness at the same time (scraping by with the first, failing at the second, succeeding at the third :-)) I'm very much aware of why I love the dependability in motherhood so much: it draws me to the Lord.

Nowhere in my life do I feel more inadequate that I do in motherhood. As consequence, nowhere in my life do I turn to God more as I do in motherhood. And that's a good thing.

So thanks, Kelly, for allowing me the opportunity to share the good news of our blossoming family. You unknowingly helped me with the words (and helped me find the joy in the current season I'm in). :-)

Our new little one, who we're temporarily naming "Roo", will hopefully arrive the end of November, beginning of December. A new adventure awaits! I'd particularly appreciate your prayers as I attempt to make it through this first-trimester morning sickness. It wasn't so pleasant with Morenna... and it appears no different this time around. But God has lessons for me in it all, I just need to listen.

...Because the Days are Evil

"Look carefully then how you walk,

not as unwise but as wise,
making the best use of the time,
because the days are evil."
~Eph. 5:15-16

"Your tea is getting cold," my husband said to me one night. "Aren't you coming to bed yet? I'd like to spend some time with you." Anxiously I made a few quick clicks with my mouse. "Not quite yet, just a few more things to do." My eyes were glued to my computer as I immersed myself in a friend's posting on facebook. Definitely need to write her a quick encouraging note. And did I remember to scan the latest deals and print those Huggies coupons? I can't go to the grocery without them! Oh look, an email from so-and-so!

An hour later I sank into bed. There were so many other blogs I wanted to read and sites I wanted to visit, but I was feeling guilty. I snuggled up to my husband and started to browse through my parenting magazine. My tea was cold.

"Hooked Online." The words on the page jumped out at me. "Three reasons moms are addicted to the internet." Addiction. Addiction. I stole a shy glance at Matt. He hadn't took notice of the headline. Cautiously I continued reading; I had that feeling that this article was meant for me. Sure enough, the author's word struck a chord... and it wasn't good. Perhaps the most identifying passage was this one:

"I started following coupon sites and became so engrossed in finding deals that I neglected the important things, like time with my son, for a while."

I've done this!!! While the article seemed to focus more on a mother's need for social stimulation (no comment) what I gleened was more a recognition of time-consuming bad habits. The mother mentioned above pursued something good, but at the cost of what was best. How often am I unintentionally doing that?

~

These past few weeks I've been contemplating time. Certainly as a new mom I've started seeing time as my enemy. There's never enough of it to accomplish my tasks. At the recommendation of a friend, I began reading Shopping for Time, a marvelous book written by a woman I couldn't esteem more highly. Her advice comes right from scripture: look carefully; live purposefully.

Look carefully... make the best use... days are evil. So, I looked. There it was: my computer. It's on from morning 'til night. I'm on it for work. I'm on it for play. I have to have it to score the best deals. And where would I find half my recipes without it? It's all good. But it's not the best. It's become my distraction. My bad habit keeping me from wholely pursuing my duties. What's yours?

I've witnessed so many other friends battling with this type of behavior. Ladies, we need to be proactive about sitting down and recognizing our priorities. The days are evil, now let's wisely take them on. For me, that meant sitting down and listing my priorities, and deciding where the internet fit (or didn't fit!) with them.

1. First and foremost, I am a child of God. He is my first priority and my time sitting at the foot of the cross, studying His word and bathing my day in prayer is SO important. Nothing must distract me from that time. (No internet here.)

2. My household comes next, and with it several smaller categories. I can't help but recall the Proverbs 31 woman (Lord, help us all! :-)): She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. (Prov. 31:27)

a) My husband. He is my primary focus. As his wife I am first and foremost his help-mate. Now, I should start acting like it. :-) That means children, church... everything else must come after. (Internet only if I need to use it to serve him in some way.)

b) My children. Training them in godliness and teaching them is next on my list. (No internet here.)

c) My home. This includes cleanliness, meals - whatever it takes to keep my home in working, efficient order. This also includes keeping house the way that would best please my husband and serve my children. It also includes being a good steward of what resources we have. Here is where couponing, bargain shopping, etc comes in for me. Even here, though, some prioritization is needed. Cleanliness comes before couponing, etc. (Internet: limited.)

3. Work. This is a given for internet, but I must remember that it comes after everything else. For me, household things typically get done in the morning, then work follows after my devotions during Morenna's morning nap. (Yay for naps!) (Internet: yes, but for one primary purpose.)

4. Social Service. Hurray! Play time! Last but not least is my time for social interaction... playgroups, phone calls, facebook, email, blogging, you name it! And by the grace of God, here it is... right where it belongs. (If you're wondering about this post, yes, my chores are done for today, Morenna is napping, my husband is studying... FREEDOM! ) Whoops... now I have to go get lunch. :-)

There is such joy in looking carefully and evaluating your time. At the end of a weary day, you can look back and smile, knowing that what needed to get done, did get done. And like the Proverbs 31 woman, we can now laugh at the days to come.

Won't you join me in making the best use of our time?

One of those days... #194

Today was one of those days. Morenna has been a handful over the last few days... days when my poor husband has been swamped with law school activities and consequently unavailable. Isn't that how it always is? Yes, you nod. But you're really wondering why I have a picture of a toilet posted here, aren't you? I have my relavant reasons.

The temper tantrum Morenna threw yesterday was quite shocking, in my unexperienced (on the flip side as a mom) opinion. We've had our little sin issues before, but this one manifested itself in old fashioned heel-kicking angry 'tude (as Matt would call it). Three-quarters of an hour later, we had peace. And friendship. And awareness of the learning curve ahead.

Today was day two of three without my hubby support. I knew it would be a rough one when Morenna awoke 4 times throughout the night with teething issues. But I was ready for it! Oh, how the mighty fall. Even before her morning nap Morenna had:

• ... somehow gotten herself caught in my Philodendron plant on the mantle and toppled it on top of herself. Dirt and all; and
  
• collected papers off my desk and dumped them in the toilet. I found her seconds later (seconds too late) bent over the toilet swishing them around in the water. GROSS!

So where was Mommy during all this? I hear you wondering. That's just it. I was right there. The whole time. And it still happened. It was just one of those days...

Bring it on.

One of those days...

Yesterday was "one of those days" in our house. While the snowfall that draped the Virginia countryside in dreamy white was breathtaking, it wasn't the beauty making me catch my breath. It was my baby girl. Yes, yesterday was one of those days where I never really completed anything I wanted to (well, ok, the laundry did get done... somehow), Morenna was constantly pushing my buttons (how does she do that at only 10 months?), my husband made a surprise visit home (skipping classes in light of the snow) and my patience/energy ran at an all time low. Yes, it was one of those days.

But you know what? Today isn't one of those days.

As a stay-at-home mom, I found this post a bit refreshing and a gentle reminder of why I (all of us moms) do what we do.