Every anchorman/woman's worst nightmere...

http://tinyurl.com/hyxtn

First comes the laughter... then comes the words: "You're fired."

Barbie: Coming to a Metro Area near you...

Capitol Hill Barbie:

She's a Barbie girl in a world of legislative language and partisan rancor. But, none of that means much to our little Barbie. She is too busy running from reception to reception for free food and booze because on her staff assistant salary she can't afford groceries after buying a $400 pair of shoes this month. Her dream date would be Tucker
Carlson or any member of the Kennedy clan (or any frat boy who's last name is Kennedy). She is often heard before she is seen with her giggly gaggle of fellow Barbie-esque staff assistants who flirt shamelessly with Capitol Hill Ken and his posse of uncool dudes who think they are hot stuff because they just got promoted from mail opener to mail answerer.



Reston Barbie:

This princess Barbie is sold only at The Reston Town Center. She comes with an assortment of Coach Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a longhaired foreign dog named Honey, and a "cookie cutter" $2,000, 000.00 house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with "augmented" version.

Springfield Barbie:

This modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full time occupation or secondary education. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.

Prince George's County Barbie:

This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Pontiac with dark tinted windows and a crack pipe. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills). Unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.



Great Falls Barbie:

This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and Scioto Country Club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.



Fredericksburg Barbie:

This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Bud light and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a Confederate flag bumper
sticker absolutely free.



Herndon Barbie:

This collagen injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears a leopard print outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends. Percocet prescription available.



West Virginia Barbie:

This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of another Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid washed jeans, fake fingernails and a see through halter-top. Also available with a mobile home.



Falls Church Barbie:

This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, archless feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her "Willow." She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Clintonville Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.



Southeast D.C. Barbie:

This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangster Ken and his '79 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.



Dupont Circle Barbie/Ken:

This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply adding or subtracting the multiple "snap-on" parts.

Arlington Barbie:

This doll comes equipped with happy hour schedule and north face fleece. Her seemingly Republican day outfit turns into a tight pair of seven jeans and a sluttly top in the evening (but the pearl earrings stay in of course). She comes with an overpriced condo and flashy car that she never drives since the metro is a block away. Graduated Frat
Boy Ken is sold separately but comes with a pair of new balance shoes, a hat from the college he graduated from, and a polo shirt with a collar you can flip up or down.

In Memory of Jack

In memory of Jack Saunders: 1948-2006



This picture was taken in 2000 at Park City, UT during one of our many trips together. Jack was sitting in a bobsled at the site of the 2002 Olympics and was having a grand time.

Jack, we all miss you terribly.

Three Dead, Including Two Children, near Swanton

http://www.nbc24.com/Global/story.asp?S=4899866
http://www.wtol.com/Global/story.asp?S=4899750
http://abclocal.go.com/wtvg/story?section=local&id=4168971

This has been a terrible blow to myself and my family. Jack and Patti Saunders were good friends of my family and I have many memories with them and the kids. We have even spent the night at their home and traveled together. Please pray for my family and the Saunders family as we attempt to sort through this devistating and confusing news... and for Patti, as she has lost all that was dear to her. We have no answers as of yet and so many questions.

Rain, rain, rain...

I had the brilliant idea to work from home today. Bad idea. The rain is making me so sleepy it's not even funny. Oh well.

So I was in our monthly editorial meeting at work a couple of weeks ago and the most alarming thing happened. As I sat chewing on the end of my pencil, Chuck (Colson) was debating with one of our authors about the state of affairs in the church community. I gasped in surprise as I heard Chuck exclaim: "I just don't know what we're going to do with those Southern Baptist Bastards!" I blinked, and looked quickly at my co-worker. The look on her face told me she had heard it too. As our mouths gaped open Chuck took one look at me and barked: "What in the world is wrong with you?"
"Would you mind running that by me again?
"What?"
"About the Southern Baptists."
In his thick Massachusetts accent he repied, "I don't know what to do with the bastards."
Frowning I looked at my co-worker, who was now chuckling quietly. "The Pastors. He doesn't know what to do about the Pastors."

Duh, Faith. Thankfully Chuck thought the mishap was hilarious... once I explained. :-)